Någon som som tror att ni får en vanlig eftermatchenbetyg-text?
I helvete heller.
Jag ser knappt skärmen när jag skriver. Ni får nöja er med ett transcript av talet från världens störste coach alla kategorier, kryddat med lite bilder. That’s all I’ll manage tonight.
”I have absolutely no script in my mind. I’m just going to ramble on and hope I get to the core of what this football club means.
”This is a thank you to Manchester United. Not just the directors, not just the medical staff, the coaching staff, the players and supporters. It’s all of you. This has been the most fantastic experience of my life. Thank you.
”I have been very fortunate that I’ve been able to manage to some of the greatest players in the country, let alone Manchester United. And all these players today have represented this club the proper way. They won the championship in fantastic fashion. Well done to the players.
”My retirement does mean the end of my life with the club. I’ll now be able to enjoy watching them, rather than suffer with them. But, if you think about it, those last-minute goals, the comebacks, even the defeats are all part of this great football club of ours … so thank you for that.
”I’d also like to remind you that when we had bad times at the club, all the staff stood by me, all the players stood by me. Your [the supporters] job now is to stand by your new manager.
”Before I start blubbing, I just want to speak to Paul Scholes, who retires today. He is unbelievable. One of the greatest players we’ve ever had and ever will ever.
”I also want to wish Darren Fletcher a speedy recovery and return to the club.
”I wish the players every success in the future You know how good you are, you know the jersey you’re wearing and you know what it means to everyone here [at Old Trafford]. Don’t ever let yourselves down. The expectation is always there.”
Och så förklarar Alexander varför han tog det här beslutet, som han fattade i julas:
”Things changed when Cathy’s sister died. She is isolated a lot now. I owe (Cathy) a lot of my own time. For 47 years, she has been the leader of the family, looked after our three sons, sacrificed herself for me. Now she has all her grandchildren.
”She lost her best friend, her sister Bridget, so that was important. Also, I wanted to go out a winner. That’s the most important thing I’ve wanted to be.”
Fint att Scholes skämtar lite om Rooneys transfer request på slutet. Ett faktum som Alexander bekräftade.
Och så firar spelarna i omklädningsrummet. Igen.
Kameramannen (kvinnan?) zoomar rutinerat in på bucklan när Glazyererna dyker upp i bild.
